Happy New Year
It has been more than a year since my last post and oh what a difference a year makes. There is nothing like motherhood to put self-reflection, and a once solid yoga practice, on the shelf and be so absolutely absorbed by the present moment. My life has never felt so full of purpose and I have never felt so present. And of course being present is one of the foundations of a good yoga practice so, perhaps, I could say that actually my yoga practice has never been more solid, in its foundations if nothing more!
I think what I have learnt over the last year, and what I wish to share is that it is so easy to use life as an excuse not to do something. So I no longer have the luxury of a regular daily hour of yoga practice on my mat, and when I practice now it is always with one foot on the mat and one foot ready to run to my waking baby. I am no longer fully present on my mat and it has taken me a long time to accept that.
For a long time I was trying to get back to my practice without realising that as my life has changed so must my yoga. Being able to unroll my mat and move through poses is a beautiful feeling but stepping off the mat and taking my yoga with me is even more satisfying. It’s about being inspired by my beautiful daughter’s baby-perfect posture and baby-yogic breath, to move my own body with awareness and to watch my own breath and, seeing my daughter’s quizzical face as she watches me stretch through Marjariasana and her little hands trying to grab at my toes as I stand in Tadasana. That is what keeps me present. That is what keeps me dedicated to my practice.
It is a modern take on an age old practice but what is wrong with that? I have never sold myself as a yoga guru steeped in years of yoga tradition having been taught at the feet of ancient masters. But I have discovered that often this is not what people are looking for anyway when they come to my classes. Most people are looking for a way to fit yoga, or something like it, into their life for a whole manner of reasons. They are not looking for yoga to become their life. If people are inspired through my classes to go on that journey then my work is done and I will be their forever humble stepping stone.
I chose to take a break from teaching to focus on my new role as a mother and I almost didn’t go back to it thinking that I need to get my old practice back first. I didn’t plan to be away for so long but it took time to accept that my old practice was just that, old.
It’s not about getting back to something but about accepting that things are constantly changing and that something you once aimed for will have to evolve and change as well. Because something has become harder does not mean you should give up on it. I always planned to be a yoga teacher and I always hoped to be a mum. I have achieved what I planned and hoped for. Now I aim to move forward and be the best yoga teacher and the best mum I can be.